


Want You To

by jedusaur



Category: Bandom
Genre: Gen, M/M, Podfic Available, Stalking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-08
Updated: 2011-04-08
Packaged: 2017-10-22 02:34:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedusaur/pseuds/jedusaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard doesn't delete the picture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Want You To

**Author's Note:**

> A podfic of this fic by halequinne can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/301344).

It's Pete who sends Gerard the picture. Famous people don't have enough time in their lives to sift through the massive piles of misguided dross that comprise online celebrity news, except Pete Wentz, who reads the internet instead of sleeping.

Some fan DM'd it to him on Twitter, he says, and Gerard winces at the idea of actually reading all the messages people try to send him on social networking sites. He opens the file, expecting either a cat macro or porn. Because Pete is nothing if not predictable, it's porn, but because Pete's predictability can be unpredictable, it's porn of _Frank._

He's kneeling, looking up at the camera, leaning back with one hand braced on the floor behind him and the other wrapped around his erect cock. His mouth is open, glistening tongue resting just inside his pert bottom lip. His eyes are dark, uneasy but curious, practically begging to find out what comes next.

It must be Photoshopped. But no, the shadows are complex in all the right ways, and that's how Frank used to paint his nails when he was... god, how old was he when this was taken? Frank has one of those faces that never really age, but Gerard has known him for years, and this has to be a pretty old photo.

Gerard looks at it for a long, long time. He doesn't jerk off to it, not then, but he memorizes the angles and curves to think about later, when he can pretend he isn't.

***

Gerard has an addictive personality. He's been addicted to substances, but those are just the addictions people can see. The deeper addictions are the habits he's never going to kick, the ones that are so ingrained they're part of him. He's addicted to the white noise of people screaming their hearts out, the smooth roar that results from thousands of thrilled fans each pouring out their excitement into the ambient din of the crowd, and at the same time he's addicted to the surprise of people noticing his competence outside his music. He's addicted to mindsets, to optimism, to creation, to regret.

Getting addicted to people never turns out well, but he does it anyway, all the time.

He's been addicted to Frank for a long time, in the way that he's addicted to his whole band, to the things they make and the way they interact. He doesn't try to sleep with anyone in his band because they're his _band_ , he doesn't _need_ to have sex with them. He's never had an afterglow as awesome as the feeling he gets from a really good practice.

But seeing this picture makes him wonder if maybe he just hasn't found the right afterglow, because those eager shining eyes, they do things to his gut.

***

"What?" says Frank, who knows Gerard like he knows the insides of his own eyelids.

Gerard stops staring, tries to stop imagining Frank nude, wondering how his body has changed since he posed on his knees for a camera. They've seen each other naked, but they don't _look_. He wants to look. Almost more than he wants to touch, he wants to be able to see.

"Dude, quit trying to act like nothing's up and tell me what's going on," says Frank. He stands in front of the couch where Gerard is sitting and prods Gerard's forehead repeatedly. "Spill. Spill. Spill."

Gerard looks up, almost catching a finger in his eye. Frank stops when he sees his expression, and concern darts across his face. "You're freaking me out. Talk to me."

Other people obsess too, Gerard knows. It's not just him. Sometimes he's so fixated on his own feelings that he forgets other people have them. He's bad at noticing. If Frank were in love with him, he wouldn't have noticed. If Frank _is_ in love with him, he _hasn't_ noticed. He remembers the picture, the hungry look in Frank's eyes, and he wants that look directed at him. He wants to see Frank erect and desperate.

He reaches up and drags Frank down into his lap. Frank, surprised, goes without a fight, straddling Gerard's thighs and brushing his hair out of his eyes, waiting.

Gerard kisses him.

Frank kisses back for a moment, two moments, and Gerard's heart rattles his ribcage, but then he pulls back and frowns. "That's not talking," he says, although he doesn't move off Gerard's lap. "I need some words here."

"I saw a picture," mumbles Gerard. Frank still looks confused, until he adds "of you," and then Frank's face locks down like a prison at lights-out. He stands up, backs away, folds his arms into a shield.

"Throw it away," he says. "Delete it. I don't want you to have that. Get rid of it."

He stalks out, leaving Gerard alone and unsure.

***

Gerard doesn't delete the picture.

He doesn't even consider deleting the picture.

***

Frank pulls off his shirt, and asks if Gerard still has the picture of him. Gerard doesn't answer, and that's answer enough. He wishes he could lie, but it's Frank, and he can't. It's Frank, and he has no control over himself at all.

Frank strips off the rest of his clothes, and drops to his knees. "It's this one, isn't it?" he says, looking up at Gerard. He opens his mouth and wraps his hand around his flaccid cock in a weak imitation of the image. The position is right, but the expression is all wrong. His eyes are scratchy with condescension, not burning with desire.

Gerard doesn't say anything. He can't do anything but stare.

"You want me?" says Frank. "You still want that fuckable mouth, even though it's old and decrepit now? Jesus, Gerard, you are such a fucking bastard." He stands up and pulls his jeans on over his bare skin. "I was seventeen in that photo, asshole. If you won't get rid of it because I asked, get rid of it because it's fucking illegal."

"You kissed me back," says Gerard.

Frank snorts. "Yeah. I kissed you back. You wonder about something enough times, you're gonna take the time to find out when you finally get the chance. I found out, I'm done wondering. You're most of a decade too late for more than that."

They have practice that afternoon. Gerard spends it thinking about the fact that Frank isn't wearing underwear.

***

He tries one more time.

"Fuck off," says Frank, "or my wife will have your computer searched by the police."

***

Gerard doesn't delete the picture, because now it's all he has.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Podfic: Want You To](https://archiveofourown.org/works/301344) by [Halequinne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halequinne/pseuds/Halequinne)




End file.
